Welcome to another prank-filled slurp of of 2schooners with jokes galore from around the world and around the corner as we examine all that was April Fools Day 2011. So pick up your beer, plonk yourself down on a whoopee cushion and kiss goodbye to what remains of your dignity as we tumble headlong into another boozy episode of Two Schooners…

Here’s what we talked about in today’s show:

• What were your favourite April fools jokes
  • Gmail Motion http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html
  • Giant Meat Ant
  • Man Super Glues Hat to His Head
  • The Story of the Giant Napkin, the possum and the missing comma… (@tom125)
  • Steve Resigns and Joins Bill
  • April 1 Techcrunch’s “Big List”
  • The best April Fools Jokes of all time
  • #59: Daylight Savings Contest (1984): the Eldorado Daily Journal, based in Illinois, announced a contest to see who could save the most daylight for daylight savings time. The rules of the contest were simple: beginning with the first day of daylight savings time, contestants would be required to save daylight. Whoever succeeded in saving the most daylight would win. Only pure daylight would be allowed—no dawn or twilight light, though light from cloudy days would be allowed. Moonlight was strictly forbidden. Light could be stored in any container. The contest received a huge, nationwide response. The paper’s editor was interviewed by correspondents from CBS and NBC and was featured in papers throughout the country.
  • Neil Patrick Harris did a Stephen Fry for April Fools (not sure what it says about Stephen Fry?)  @ActuallyNPH Neil Patrick Harris I’m sick of these negative responses! Rude, hurtful, constant – it’s too much. I’m leaving Twitter. Love to say I’m joking, but I’m not.

Music

Thanks to Big La vs. Todd for the awesome remix of Public Enemy we played on today’s show.  We found it at Bandcamp.com

Public Enemy – Harder Than You Think (Big La Remix)
from Big La: Remixes by Big La vs. Todd

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iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

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Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
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• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
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Welcome to another fun filled edition of 2schooners, coming to your ears in less than 2 months… A show built on the uncertainty principle and where nothing is sacred except the beer! Fresh from the holiday thaw, thanks for joining us this Australia Day for a podcast infused with an Aussie flavour of errr beer…

Here’s what we talked about in today’s show:

• Sam Kecovich Lamb Ads – 2011.
• Beer dispenser fills from the bottom (Youtube)
• Schooners sail into British pubs
• flypower.com – no shit make paper planes powered by flys…
• Paul the Octopus to get a Shine – WTF!
• Crematorium to Heat Swimming Pool

• Please, Donate to the Queensland Premier’s Flood Relief Appeal

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Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.

Di Johnston
“Companion” (mp3)
from “Fascinator”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Napster
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

It’s Ditch Digging Prostitutes, Beer Towers and a handful of Esky Reporters in this overbaked, and yet wholly undercooked edition of Two Schooners, as Dave and James battle Dave’s externalised internal monologue with the beers opened, the nuts in the ashtray and the bar set entirely too low.  If this podcast was a meal, it would be a 3-day old prawn cocktail without the thousand island.  So it back, relax and enjoy the tanties and as we often say as we slouch on our red vinyl barstools – staring into our beers -  ”you dug that hole, now you can sleep in it!”  This is indeed one unsavoury plate of 2Schooners for your all consuming pleasure… so you will sit there and enjoy it!

Here’s what we talk about in today’s show:

• Sex and the King of Fruits (Eric Seale)
• Drunken Employee Shoots Server (Eric Seale)
• What if we Aussies were Governed by the Sex Party? (Eric Seale)
• Man threatens to blow himself up unless he gets an Egg and Bacon McMuffin (James)
• Another case of stating the bleeding obvious – died of medical causes!
• NZ student mistakes teacher for a deer, shoots her dead.
  • not the first time a NZ has mistaken an animal for a person
  • doubt it will change anything, sheep will still be nervous
• Spanish Prostitutes order to wear reflective vests

Rifftrax rework some vintage Australian TV

What’s 1970′s Australian TV without an American workover!  This was brought to our attention by Kylie from Geek Tragedy Podcast! http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/dont-be-a-bloody-idiot

Dave’s mid-show beer tower…

Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.  Enjoy this track from Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson
“Flake” (mp3)
from “Brushfire Fairytales (Bonus version)”
(Everloving Inc.)

More On This Album

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Who had the bright idea to put the Williams and the Gray in the same room!  The meeting of the minds happened in Sydney recently one Saturday night, and the result was far from spectacular. 

We have returned with fresh ice to the esky… We also found a great fridge on special at Harvey Norman, which is not an esky… The winter was so cold here that the beer froze over not to mention the whole barefoot saga… While Williams wrestles with technology I am wrestling with an inability to sing…

We have esky reporters standing buy stories of cash, balls, badly designed baths and strange chairs better left on the showroom floor, we are up in lights and drinking the good stuff… your listening to 2Schooners… I think I mentioned that…

Someone let the kangaroo’s loose in the back paddock and their running wild and causing a rukkus. 

This is Two Schooners #38 complete with a live audience and completely unedited from beginning to end (but you didn’t need to be told that!).  It’s an intriguing episode from the fellas, over a couple too many beers and cool bag of ice, and some entertaining esky reporters.

This is what we chatted about in today’s show

(and some stuff we were slated to talk about, and didn’t!)

• Piglet seized to recover debt
• Disposable shoes for disco goers
• Host sacked over dick shit
• Spoof Nobels
• Weird Travel Questions
• Fake Police Officer pulls Over Real One
• Man Takes Shower in the Wrong House
• Female Snails grow Penises on their Heads
• Woman Eats Mars Bar
• Man Stashes Cash on Scrotum
• Poo Art

Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.  Enjoy this track from the Groove Junkies.

Groove Junkies
“Far Away (TC Moses)” (mp3)
from “In The Zone”
(Morehouse Records)

Buy at Napster
More On This Album

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Please check out our extended range of Two Schooners gear!

Visit our 2Schooners cafepress store where you can buy merchandise with our brand on it. Thanks to @regravity for the artwork! :)

Dave may have been coming around from his trip under the butcher’s knife but it was James who was under the weather for this episode. The guys certainly put on a show for the incumbent work experience beer-wench @woollymittens, who was angling for a job behind the microphones with his funny quips and quick retorts which he squarely blames on the jetlag. 

This is Two Schooners 37, with unequivocally the WORST audio quality ever as James reaches for the bottle and blames the booze. Really we were all just celebrating Dave’s big new scar, his escape from the coolroom and… of course…  his clean bill of health.  Let’s face it guys, there was no way any of us were going to let Dave leave this sinking ship without a bloody big fight!

So here it is – warts and all – an apparently lacklustre edition of Two Schooners, but man we had fun drinking all the way to the very end.

Big thanks to our honorary beer-wench @Woollymittens who has now been let loose in Australia to hop around in the back paddock for a while. 

And big thanks to all our esky reporters who we hope had fun along the way too.

Enjoy this episode and Episode 38 is already recorded and will be out very soon.

Music

The music in today’s show was sourced from Ioda Promonet, here are the details:

ZLOX
“Song of Night” (mp3)
from “eXpo”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Napster
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Send us your beer pics to add to our @2Schooners twitter background
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Two Schooners Stuff

Visit our 2Schooners cafepress store where you can buy merchandise with our brand on it. Thanks to @regravity for the artwork! :)

Please Tweet this episode

Enjoy the show, and don’t forget to tweet that your listening

This the latest and greatest episode where we attempt to do comedy… In Episode 35 of Two Schooners we introduce our esky reporters, grasping their beer coolers in one hand and their mics in the other to bring you their version of the world on location and live! Straight into your ear buds and into your neurons. Today you’ll get to meet (in their official capacity of esky reporter) Knightwise (@knightwise), Kyle (@gtpodcast) and Matt (@matt88).

Of course we’ll also feature the  usual shit that you guys have come to know and love! 

 
Here’s what we covered in this show:

 
Knightwise’s random video:

That other funny video:

 
The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @matt88
• @gtpodcast (kyle)
• @knightwise
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125 (our official fact checker)
• @cait
• @epicmac
• @the_rooster (that’s Dave)
• @jameswilliams90 (that’s James)
• @2Schooners – that’s our official one

Ask us a question on formspring.me

• Dave’s formspring
• James formspring

 
Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

And here’s the great track we played at the end of the show!

Thanks to Ioda Promonet, who are an excellent source of podsafe music, by the way.

Matt Goss
“Change Me” (mp3)
from “Gossy”
(U & L Records, Inc.)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

And here’s some other stuff you need to know:

IRC Network: freenode.net put irc.freenode.net into your client
IRC Channel: #binarybar

You can join with a client or try out the Web Version Here

Knightwise why would you dare us with such simple words… now you have to live up to your half of the deal, what was it?  Pink Spandex for a month…  Oh, hello and Welcome to Two Schooners 34, yes folks, thirty-freaken-four episodes of your favourite drunken podcast with Dave and James, broadcasting live from the bar!  Who’d have thought Dave would have that much to say?  Stick around and hear us repeat the words, pink, tit and street many times in this episode and all because Knightwise asked us to.

Here’s what we covered in this show:

The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125
• @cait
• @ryantracey (new listener)
• @eatdrinkstagger (new listener)
• @the_rooster (that’s Dave)
• @jameswilliams90 (that’s James)
• @2Schooners – that’s our official one

Ask us a question on formspring.me

• Dave’s formspring
• James formspring

Random Klompen pick of the week

Check out the klompen (clogs) that @woollymittens bought me and that were subsequently photoshopped by @regravity!

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

And here’s the great track we played at the end of the show!

Thanks to Ioda Promonet, who are an excellent source of podsafe music, by the way.

The Shanghai Restoration Project feat. Natural Fact of Unconscious Logic
“Touchdown” (mp3)
from “Story of a City”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Amazon.com
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Puretracks
Buy at Amazon MP3
Buy at appliedSB (Groupietunes)
Buy at mTraks
More On This Album

And here’s some other stuff you need to know:

IRC Network: freenode.net put irc.freenode.net into your client
IRC Channel: #binarybar

You can join with a client or try out the Web Version Here

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up and make sure you haven’t got anything stuffed down your undies, because this is going to be a long flight. 

Woollymittens is coming to town and Two Schooners is quite underprepped, for this handcrafted bar-bound episode. We’ve got several under the belt for this one fellas, and the esky is looking a little skint, but pull up a stool and join us because there’s a yarn in the making on this episode, about the little furry fellas and a few too many beers.

Podcast Listeners meetup this weekend in Sydney…. The Woollymittens is coming to Sydney, all the way from the dutchie land. Make sure you RSVP for our Sydney meetup on Sunday 24 January – details on twtvite.com

Could you please give us a plug in your iTunes store:  Guys your reviews and ratings help keep Two Schooners in view on the iTunes store – if you haven’t already given us a review or rated us (with the stars), could you please do this…. here’s the link to our page in the iTunes store.

Here’s what we discussed in today’s show

• Windows 7
• Effen Beer
• 365 Days of Dave
• AntiDave365
• Romper Room and the Magic Mirror
• The Adult Advent Calendar
• Friends pack apartment with gifts in holiday prank
• Man with knife in chest calls 911, orders coffee
• Flatulent pig sparks gas leak alert
• Search of car turns up gift-wrapped marijuana
• Australian men undress and soap up at carwash
• Flashing teen found guilty after being hit by car

The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125 (our official 2Schooners fact checker)
• @cait (don’t forget to connect with cait re. Melbourne meetup)

Here’s the track we played at the end of the show (thanks Ioda Promonet!)

Car Bomb Driver
“Beer Drinker” (mp3)
from “Evacuate”
(24 Hour Service Station)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at eMusic
Buy at Napster
Buy at Rhapsody
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Puretracks
Buy at Amazon MP3
Buy at appliedSB (Groupietunes)
Buy at mTraks
More On This Album

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up – this is the Christmas edition of Two Schooners and you’re in for one hell of a ride! Dave and James are on the turps and having more fun than should be legal in this edition of Two Schooners.

Hear from some of our most avid listeners, as we spread the love and christmas cheer on thick for Episode 32!

Thanks for listening to the show this year, we love youse all sick!  It’s been a fun journey this year!  Who’s up for another round?

Cheers,
Dave and James

Thanks to our contributors:

• Scott Hertzog from Sci-Fi Diner Podcast
• Erk and Judy from Channel Erk
• The Herne

And our Skype Bomb Artiste:

• Knightwise

And from YouTube:

Thanks to @EricSeale for this contribution

In a week where you can literally taste the dust, Dave’s mixer get’s a taste of the liquid gold, amber courage and comes off a little worse for wear. Not as bad as the new name for Vegemite as some marketing bright-spark genius decides that ‘isnack 2.0′ will convince more people to eat their poo-brown concoction of processed cheese and the old Australian favourite. This is just some of the tastiest morsels simmering away at the bottom of the bag, this week, as Dave and James settle in to the bar, with an ice-cold brew for the 30th episode of 2Schooners.

At this point, the guys would like to un-thank Herne for the 30th Episode cake, and remind all our listeners to send in your pictures to adorn our 2Schooners twitter page to yourshout@twoschooners.com

Please Tweet this episode

Enjoy the show, and don’t forget to tweet that your listening – and include the URL to the this show which is here: http://u.nu/9pk

Here’s what we covered on Two Schooners this week

• Cameraman shagged by horny bird
• School Answering Machine Message
• Worlds Earliest SatNav
• The Ig Nobel Awards
• Bra Gas Mask Combo
• Omitting Items from McDonalds Orders to Save Money
• Woman pulls gun on cop as chihuahua deal goes wrong
• Wanted: volunteers to move 400 crocs
• Vegimite iSnack 2.0 WTF?
• German cops impound motorised beer crate
• Inmate hacker locks down jail computers
• British Airways Charges to Choose Seats
• Prisoners Get Drunk on Hand Gel
• Email Auto Response Ends up on Road Sign
• Watermelon has Same Effect as Viagra
• We are doomed if we were Ever Attacked by Zombies

Our cover shot this week:

Youtube Videos

Two Schooners Stuff

Visit our new 2Schooners cafepress store where you can buy merchandise with our brand on it. Thanks to @regravity for the artwork! :)

Beer Choices:

Effen Beer (check out the cool site)

Sponsors

We’re looking for a sponsor for the show. If you’re interested, send us an email to yourshout@twoschooners.com. If you can think of someone you think should be sponsoring our show. Let them know.

Music

The Music on Today’s show was sourced from Mevio Music Alley. The artist was The Consultants, and the track was “Have you Googled yourself today?”

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Send us your beer pics to add to our @2Schooners twitter background
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley