Happy New Beer and all things festive as we start the downhill slide that we affectionately call  Two Schooners.  This is episode 45… 5 away from god knows what… and we’re missing mum today in this somewhat short changed episode of 2Schooners we’re calling Riding in Trains with….

Here’s what we covered in today’s show

• Keanu reeves gives up seat (video)
• Bill Gates’ new Sydney pad
• The game bug has soccer players hug
• Average Joe to A list celebrity invites
• Grasshopper shortage has businesses and beer-lovers hopping mad in Uganda
• Got it on Saturday, wrecked it on Saturday
• Butt scanning prevents Car Theft
• How to Hide your Dope at Christmas Time
• Croc Steals Lawnmower (no chickens for you tonight)
• Melbourne Arts Centre set alight during NYE fireworks
• And from @jodiem: Here’s the link to sponsor me for hopefully completing a 1km swim in e-coli bay (aka Port Phillip Bay) bit.ly/tq61Ce

Big thanks to our ‘Esky reporters’

A big thanks to the esky reporters who joined us on today’s show:

• Erk @erkpod and he podcasts at http://channelerk.com
• Jodie @jodiem – don’t forget you can sponsor Jodie’s Can Too swim for cancer here: bit.ly/tq61Ce

Music

Today’s music comes from Ioda Promonet

Tess Henley
“Easy To Love” (mp3)
from “Easy To Love – Deluxe Edition”
(Global Journey)

Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

Follow us on Twitter

• @2Schooners -the show
• @jameswilliams90
• @the_Rooster
• @Nnenes

With Janine, Dave, me and a whole bag of goodies…From prostitutes to 45 kg scrotums, new studios to swiss alps we’ve got a mixed bag on Two Schooners this week… so grab yourself a beer, find a comfy stool and get ready to have your mind bent into shapes you never imagined – this is Two Schooners 44 – Toenail clippings and exploding fridges.

Here’s what we covered in today’s show

• Wesley Warren Jr needs $US1 million surgery to correct his 45kg scrotum
• No naked hiking in swiss alps (revisiting story from episode 10)
• Bogus doctor alert – plastic surgery with cement, flat tire filler and superglue
• The animals are out to get us – Man shot by own dog
• NJ woman charged in penis silicone injection death
• Mentos and Coke Powered Car We have to cover this
• Giant inflatable Santa Claus rips tiles off Hertfordshire pub roof

Music

Today’s music comes from Ioda Promonet

Tim Halperin

“The Last Song” (mp3)

from “Rise and Fall” (Tim Halperin)
Buy at Amazon MP3 More On This Album

Follow us on Twitter

• @2Schooners -the show
• @jameswilliams90
• @the_Rooster
• @Nnenes

From ‘rough-as-guts’ beer guts to ‘hands in guts’ to “morning after guts” not to mention “bad curry guts” this is one gutsy edition of 2Schooners. So do join us as we get wasted and wade into the quagmire of stories, esky reports and gutter talk that make up this Gut Friendly Edition of 2Schooners – Episode 43

No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast, livers were fair game

Here’s what we covered in today’s show:

• Dead Cow has Been Cloned… not drinking that milk
• What Shall we do with a Drunken Sailor?
• Indians Release Trained Attack Crocs
• In more Indian News: Rats get dunk as skunks (?)
• Did you play with Les Paul’s doodle
• Do you flick boogers on the plane?
• Pleasurable Feet, each to their own
• Vancouver Riots Kiss
• Gumby: Vancouver Kiss moves to Perth

Music:

The music in today’s show was supplied by IodaPromonet.com

Alice In Videoland
“Spaceship” (mp3)
from “A Million Thoughts and They’re All About You”
(Artoffact Records)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

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Download the Lifestyle PodNetwork App for iPhone, Android devices, and Nokia phones. Stream all your favourite Lifestyle PodNetwork podcasts directly to mobile device.  Download now for free!

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave, James and Nnenes on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

It’s the episode to match the wedding of the week, yes we’re talking about Wills and Kate, mad hatters and sexy sisters on this royally fun edition of Two Schooners – even if the sound on the video didn’t work, we still got some good snapshots.  Enjoy this edition of Two Schooners – no notes and a glass of bubbly as we celebrate The Royal Wedding.

cc.Flickr/clarescupcakes.co.uk

Like to taste what you see in the picture (except for the obviously photoshopped 2Schooners cake?)Checkout http://www.clarescupcakes.co.uk

Welcome to another prank-filled slurp of of 2schooners with jokes galore from around the world and around the corner as we examine all that was April Fools Day 2011. So pick up your beer, plonk yourself down on a whoopee cushion and kiss goodbye to what remains of your dignity as we tumble headlong into another boozy episode of Two Schooners…

Here’s what we talked about in today’s show:

• What were your favourite April fools jokes
  • Gmail Motion http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html
  • Giant Meat Ant
  • Man Super Glues Hat to His Head
  • The Story of the Giant Napkin, the possum and the missing comma… (@tom125)
  • Steve Resigns and Joins Bill
  • April 1 Techcrunch’s “Big List”
  • The best April Fools Jokes of all time
  • #59: Daylight Savings Contest (1984): the Eldorado Daily Journal, based in Illinois, announced a contest to see who could save the most daylight for daylight savings time. The rules of the contest were simple: beginning with the first day of daylight savings time, contestants would be required to save daylight. Whoever succeeded in saving the most daylight would win. Only pure daylight would be allowed—no dawn or twilight light, though light from cloudy days would be allowed. Moonlight was strictly forbidden. Light could be stored in any container. The contest received a huge, nationwide response. The paper’s editor was interviewed by correspondents from CBS and NBC and was featured in papers throughout the country.
  • Neil Patrick Harris did a Stephen Fry for April Fools (not sure what it says about Stephen Fry?)  @ActuallyNPH Neil Patrick Harris I’m sick of these negative responses! Rude, hurtful, constant – it’s too much. I’m leaving Twitter. Love to say I’m joking, but I’m not.

Music

Thanks to Big La vs. Todd for the awesome remix of Public Enemy we played on today’s show.  We found it at Bandcamp.com

Public Enemy – Harder Than You Think (Big La Remix)
from Big La: Remixes by Big La vs. Todd

Lifestyle PodNetwork Mobile Apps

Download the Lifestyle PodNetwork App for iPhone, Android devices, and Nokia phones. Stream all your favourite Lifestyle PodNetwork podcasts directly to mobile device.  Download now for free!

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Welcome to another fun filled edition of 2schooners, coming to your ears in less than 2 months… A show built on the uncertainty principle and where nothing is sacred except the beer! Fresh from the holiday thaw, thanks for joining us this Australia Day for a podcast infused with an Aussie flavour of errr beer…

Here’s what we talked about in today’s show:

• Sam Kecovich Lamb Ads – 2011.
• Beer dispenser fills from the bottom (Youtube)
• Schooners sail into British pubs
• flypower.com – no shit make paper planes powered by flys…
• Paul the Octopus to get a Shine – WTF!
• Crematorium to Heat Swimming Pool

• Please, Donate to the Queensland Premier’s Flood Relief Appeal

Lifestyle PodNetwork iPhone App

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Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.

Di Johnston
“Companion” (mp3)
from “Fascinator”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Napster
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

It’s Ditch Digging Prostitutes, Beer Towers and a handful of Esky Reporters in this overbaked, and yet wholly undercooked edition of Two Schooners, as Dave and James battle Dave’s externalised internal monologue with the beers opened, the nuts in the ashtray and the bar set entirely too low.  If this podcast was a meal, it would be a 3-day old prawn cocktail without the thousand island.  So it back, relax and enjoy the tanties and as we often say as we slouch on our red vinyl barstools – staring into our beers -  ”you dug that hole, now you can sleep in it!”  This is indeed one unsavoury plate of 2Schooners for your all consuming pleasure… so you will sit there and enjoy it!

Here’s what we talk about in today’s show:

• Sex and the King of Fruits (Eric Seale)
• Drunken Employee Shoots Server (Eric Seale)
• What if we Aussies were Governed by the Sex Party? (Eric Seale)
• Man threatens to blow himself up unless he gets an Egg and Bacon McMuffin (James)
• Another case of stating the bleeding obvious – died of medical causes!
• NZ student mistakes teacher for a deer, shoots her dead.
  • not the first time a NZ has mistaken an animal for a person
  • doubt it will change anything, sheep will still be nervous
• Spanish Prostitutes order to wear reflective vests

Rifftrax rework some vintage Australian TV

What’s 1970′s Australian TV without an American workover!  This was brought to our attention by Kylie from Geek Tragedy Podcast! http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/dont-be-a-bloody-idiot

Dave’s mid-show beer tower…

Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.  Enjoy this track from Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson
“Flake” (mp3)
from “Brushfire Fairytales (Bonus version)”
(Everloving Inc.)

More On This Album

iTunes Review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Who had the bright idea to put the Williams and the Gray in the same room!  The meeting of the minds happened in Sydney recently one Saturday night, and the result was far from spectacular.

We have returned with fresh ice to the esky… We also found a great fridge on special at Harvey Norman, which is not an esky… The winter was so cold here that the beer froze over not to mention the whole barefoot saga… While Williams wrestles with technology I am wrestling with an inability to sing…

We have esky reporters standing buy stories of cash, balls, badly designed baths and strange chairs better left on the showroom floor, we are up in lights and drinking the good stuff… your listening to 2Schooners… I think I mentioned that…

Someone let the kangaroo’s loose in the back paddock and their running wild and causing a rukkus.

This is Two Schooners #38 complete with a live audience and completely unedited from beginning to end (but you didn’t need to be told that!).  It’s an intriguing episode from the fellas, over a couple too many beers and cool bag of ice, and some entertaining esky reporters.

This is what we chatted about in today’s show

(and some stuff we were slated to talk about, and didn’t!)

• Piglet seized to recover debt
• Disposable shoes for disco goers
• Host sacked over dick shit
• Spoof Nobels
• Weird Travel Questions
• Fake Police Officer pulls Over Real One
• Man Takes Shower in the Wrong House
• Female Snails grow Penises on their Heads
• Woman Eats Mars Bar
• Man Stashes Cash on Scrotum
• Poo Art

[youtube]p0plpUs_ycI[/youtube]

Music

Thanks to Ioda Promonet for the music we played on today’s show.  Enjoy this track from the Groove Junkies.

Groove Junkies
“Far Away (TC Moses)” (mp3)
from “In The Zone”
(Morehouse Records)

Buy at Napster
More On This Album

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Buy us a beer, and support the humanitarian work we do here at 2Schooners
• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Click the Tweetmeme button and let people know you’re listening
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Please check out our extended range of Two Schooners gear!

Visit our 2Schooners cafepress store where you can buy merchandise with our brand on it. Thanks to @regravity for the artwork!

Dave may have been coming around from his trip under the butcher’s knife but it was James who was under the weather for this episode. The guys certainly put on a show for the incumbent work experience beer-wench @woollymittens, who was angling for a job behind the microphones with his funny quips and quick retorts which he squarely blames on the jetlag. 

This is Two Schooners 37, with unequivocally the WORST audio quality ever as James reaches for the bottle and blames the booze. Really we were all just celebrating Dave’s big new scar, his escape from the coolroom and… of course…  his clean bill of health.  Let’s face it guys, there was no way any of us were going to let Dave leave this sinking ship without a bloody big fight!

So here it is – warts and all – an apparently lacklustre edition of Two Schooners, but man we had fun drinking all the way to the very end.

Big thanks to our honorary beer-wench @Woollymittens who has now been let loose in Australia to hop around in the back paddock for a while. 

And big thanks to all our esky reporters who we hope had fun along the way too.

Enjoy this episode and Episode 38 is already recorded and will be out very soon.

Music

The music in today’s show was sourced from Ioda Promonet, here are the details:

ZLOX
“Song of Night” (mp3)
from “eXpo”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Napster
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

Like Two Schooners? Check out our other podcasts:

• Podcasters’ Emporium
• The Aussie Geek Podcast

Be a part of the Two Schooners Community

• Leave a comment about the show in this blog
• Follow @2Schooners on Twitter
• Send us your beer pics to add to our @2Schooners twitter background
• Follow Dave and James on Twitter
• Please write a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes store
• Send an email or an audio comment (we love those!) to yourshout@twoschooners.com
• Tag a weird story in delicious with 2Schooners, to add it to ‘the bag’
• Vote for Two Schooners on Podcast Alley

Two Schooners Stuff

Visit our 2Schooners cafepress store where you can buy merchandise with our brand on it. Thanks to @regravity for the artwork!

Please Tweet this episode

Enjoy the show, and don’t forget to tweet that your listening

What we talked about in today’s show:

• Your Story Podcast
• Create Your Own Life Story
• Great Audio Squid Labs microphones
• Zoom H4 Digital recorder
• Zoom H1 Digital recorder
• AGP – Aussie Geek Podcast
• The Dream Show with Jane Teresa Anderson

Our new Podcasters’ Emporium 30 second bumper

We’d love for you to play our 30 second Podcasters’ Emporium bumper in your show.  Let us know when you do, so we can mention you and your podcast on Podcasters’ Emporium

Download (mp3)

Be a Part of the Podcasters’ Emporium Community!

• Please send us your feedback via Email
• Follow the hosts on twittter: Follow James and Dave
• Leave a comment here on the blog
• Follow show on Twitter (news and new shows only) Send us a Direct Message when you add us to twitter and let us know that you listen to the show.
• Send us Audio Feedback by email recorded at: 128kps at 44.100 khz

Podcasters’ Emporium is produced in conjunction with the Lifestyle PodNetwork. You’ll find more great podcasts like this one at LifestylePodNetwork.com.  If you’d like to join the Lifestyle PodNetwork please contact us at talent@lifestylepodnetwork.com

We recorded Two Schooners Episode 36 at Easter.  During the recording of the show I said to Dave, “I’ve got a new Mac so this episode will come out twice as fast.”

Famous last words.

My brand new, one-month old Mac died during the edit, and went into Apple Support to be fixed.  Two long weeks, several phone calls, and a ’not happy Jan’ conversation with an in-store Apple support supervisor, they recovered 2Schooners 36 from my hard disk and gave me a completely new machine.

So today, I picked up the Mac, finished the edit and am getting it out to you.  Show notes to come later.

Here’s hoping this one is not a lemon!

Enjoy this episode!
James

What we talked about in this show

• Fillet-O-Slap Perfectly Reasonable IMHO
• Rudd/Williams Transatlantic Stouch
• Pro’s for Horny Miners
• World’s first electronic underpants

Thanks to our Esky Reporters

• @Woollymittens
• Erk and Judy from Channel Erk
• and our resident no-show @knightwise

Music

The music in today’s show was sourced from Ioda Promonet, here are the details:
Magic Bullets
“Lying Around” (mp3)
from “Magic Bullets”
(Mon Amie Records)

More On This Album

The ways of connecting Skype to your podcast are many and varied, so today we’ll start with the basic principles and a few services that are available for PC.  We plan to have a Mac/Skype episode soon, but because neither Dave or James use a Mac regularly we wanted to wait until we had a specialist lined up to tackle those options.

In this show you can expect to get a good run down of Skype and how to connect, as well as a few tips and tricks to help fast-track you towards your first Skype podcast.

What we talked about in today’s show:

• Skype
• MX Skype Recorder
• Pamela
• Audio Hijack Pro (Mac)

Our new Podcasters’ Emporium 30 second bumper

We’d love for you to play our 30 second Podcasters’ Emporium bumper in your show.  Let us know when you do, so we can mention you and your podcast on Podcasters’ Emporium

Download (mp3)

Be a Part of the Podcasters’ Emporium Community!

• Please send us your feedback via Email
• Follow the hosts on twittter: Follow James and Dave
• Leave a comment here on the blog
• Follow show on Twitter (news and new shows only) Send us a Direct Message when you add us to twitter and let us know that you listen to the show.
• Send us Audio Feedback by email recorded at: 128kps at 44.100 khz

Podcasters’ Emporium is produced in conjunction with the Lifestyle PodNetwork. You’ll find more great podcasts like this one at LifestylePodNetwork.com.  If you’d like to join the Lifestyle PodNetwork please contact us at talent@lifestylepodnetwork.com

This the latest and greatest episode where we attempt to do comedy… In Episode 35 of Two Schooners we introduce our esky reporters, grasping their beer coolers in one hand and their mics in the other to bring you their version of the world on location and live! Straight into your ear buds and into your neurons. Today you’ll get to meet (in their official capacity of esky reporter) Knightwise (@knightwise), Kyle (@gtpodcast) and Matt (@matt88).

Of course we’ll also feature the  usual shit that you guys have come to know and love! 

 
Here’s what we covered in this show:

 
Knightwise’s random video:

[youtube]p9kycd7dUTs[/youtube]

That other funny video:

 [youtube]9KXxTo5hh6A[/youtube]

 
The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @matt88
• @gtpodcast (kyle)
• @knightwise
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125 (our official fact checker)
• @cait
• @epicmac
• @the_rooster (that’s Dave)
• @jameswilliams90 (that’s James)
• @2Schooners – that’s our official one

Ask us a question on formspring.me

• Dave’s formspring
• James formspring

 
Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

And here’s the great track we played at the end of the show!

Thanks to Ioda Promonet, who are an excellent source of podsafe music, by the way.

Matt Goss
“Change Me” (mp3)
from “Gossy”
(U & L Records, Inc.)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Amazon MP3
More On This Album

And here’s some other stuff you need to know:

IRC Network: freenode.net put irc.freenode.net into your client
IRC Channel: #binarybar

You can join with a client or try out the Web Version Here

We also answer your questions on the show, so if you have something you’d like to know about then drop us a comment on the blog, or send an email to podcastersemporium@gmail.com and we will be happy to cover your question in a future show.

Thanks to everyone who contribued to the blog and sent us audio comments since the last show, we love getting your questions, feedback and thoughts on how to podcast better.

Tim Noonan has prepared a full set of show notes that you’ll find on the Vocal Branding Australia website.

Here’s what we mentioned in today’s show:

• Scott Hertzog and the Sci Fi Diner podcast
• Vocal Branding Australia and Tim Noonan

Our new Podcasters’ Emporium 30 second bumper

We’d love for you to play our 30 second Podcasters’ Emporium bumper in your show.  Let us know when you do, so we can mention you and your podcast on Podcasters’ Emporium

Download (mp3)

Be a Part of the Podcasters’ Emporium Community!

• Please send us your feedback via Email
• Follow the hosts on twittter: Follow James and Dave
• Leave a comment here on the blog
• Follow show on Twitter (news and new shows only) Send us a Direct Message when you add us to twitter and let us know that you listen to the show.
• Send us Audio Feedback by email recorded at: 128kps at 44.100 khz

Podcasters’ Emporium is produced in conjunction with the Lifestyle PodNetwork. You’ll find more great podcasts like this one at LifestylePodNetwork.com.  If you’d like to join the Lifestyle PodNetwork please contact us at talent@lifestylepodnetwork.com

Knightwise why would you dare us with such simple words… now you have to live up to your half of the deal, what was it?  Pink Spandex for a month…  Oh, hello and Welcome to Two Schooners 34, yes folks, thirty-freaken-four episodes of your favourite drunken podcast with Dave and James, broadcasting live from the bar!  Who’d have thought Dave would have that much to say?  Stick around and hear us repeat the words, pink, tit and street many times in this episode and all because Knightwise asked us to.

Here’s what we covered in this show:

The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125
• @cait
• @ryantracey (new listener)
• @eatdrinkstagger (new listener)
• @the_rooster (that’s Dave)
• @jameswilliams90 (that’s James)
• @2Schooners – that’s our official one

Ask us a question on formspring.me

• Dave’s formspring
• James formspring

Random Klompen pick of the week

Check out the klompen (clogs) that @woollymittens bought me and that were subsequently photoshopped by @regravity!

Please write us an iTunes store review

No less than 22 Reviews in the Aussie Store! With 27 5 star ratings!
Do us a massive favour and write us a review in the iTunes store… (and we’ll be your best friend, promise… no really, we will)

Click to write us a review for Two Schooners in the iTunes Store

And here’s the great track we played at the end of the show!

Thanks to Ioda Promonet, who are an excellent source of podsafe music, by the way.

The Shanghai Restoration Project feat. Natural Fact of Unconscious Logic
“Touchdown” (mp3)
from “Story of a City”
(Undercover Culture Music)

Buy at Amazon.com
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at Rhapsody
Buy at Napster
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Puretracks
Buy at Amazon MP3
Buy at appliedSB (Groupietunes)
Buy at mTraks
More On This Album

And here’s some other stuff you need to know:

IRC Network: freenode.net put irc.freenode.net into your client
IRC Channel: #binarybar

You can join with a client or try out the Web Version Here

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up and make sure you haven’t got anything stuffed down your undies, because this is going to be a long flight.

Woollymittens is coming to town and Two Schooners is quite underprepped, for this handcrafted bar-bound episode. We’ve got several under the belt for this one fellas, and the esky is looking a little skint, but pull up a stool and join us because there’s a yarn in the making on this episode, about the little furry fellas and a few too many beers.

Podcast Listeners meetup this weekend in Sydney…. The Woollymittens is coming to Sydney, all the way from the dutchie land. Make sure you RSVP for our Sydney meetup on Sunday 24 January – details on twtvite.com

Could you please give us a plug in your iTunes store: Guys your reviews and ratings help keep Two Schooners in view on the iTunes store – if you haven’t already given us a review or rated us (with the stars), could you please do this…. here’s the link to our page in the iTunes store.

Here’s what we discussed in today’s show

• Windows 7
• Effen Beer
• 365 Days of Dave
• AntiDave365
• Romper Room and the Magic Mirror
• The Adult Advent Calendar
• Friends pack apartment with gifts in holiday prank
• Man with knife in chest calls 911, orders coffee
• Flatulent pig sparks gas leak alert
• Search of car turns up gift-wrapped marijuana
• Australian men undress and soap up at carwash
• Flashing teen found guilty after being hit by car

The people we spoke about on todays show

• @regravity
• @herne
• @woollymittens
• @tom125 (our official 2Schooners fact checker)
• @cait (don’t forget to connect with cait re. Melbourne meetup)

Here’s the track we played at the end of the show (thanks Ioda Promonet!)

Car Bomb Driver
“Beer Drinker” (mp3)
from “Evacuate”
(24 Hour Service Station)

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at eMusic
Buy at Napster
Buy at Rhapsody
Stream from Rhapsody
Buy at Puretracks
Buy at Amazon MP3
Buy at appliedSB (Groupietunes)
Buy at mTraks
More On This Album

@WoollyMittens is coming to Sydney (all the way from the Netherlands) and in true 2Schooners style we’re having a meetup! 

It’s next weekend Sunday 24 January, at Wheels and Cupcake in Alexandria.  For more details check twtvite or upcoming.  If you’re planning to come along please RSVP so we can let the cafe know numbers. 

Let us know you’re coming – RSVP now.

Sit down, strap in, hang on and belt up – this is the Christmas edition of Two Schooners and you’re in for one hell of a ride! Dave and James are on the turps and having more fun than should be legal in this edition of Two Schooners.

Hear from some of our most avid listeners, as we spread the love and christmas cheer on thick for Episode 32!

Thanks for listening to the show this year, we love youse all sick!  It’s been a fun journey this year!  Who’s up for another round?

Cheers,
Dave and James

Thanks to our contributors:

• Scott Hertzog from Sci-Fi Diner Podcast
• Erk and Judy from Channel Erk
• The Herne

And our Skype Bomb Artiste:

• Knightwise

And from YouTube:

[youtube]l2oPio60mK4[/youtube]
Thanks to @EricSeale for this contribution

We also answer your questions on the show, so if you have something you’d like to know about then drop us a comment on the blog, or send an email to podcastersemporium@gmail.com and we will be happy to cover your question in a future show.

Thanks to everyone who contribued to the blog and sent us audio comments since the last show, we love getting your questions, feedback and thoughts on how to podcast better.

Here’s what we mentioned in today’s show:

Does paid advertising work?

• Google adwords
• Consider your audience – will they see or read and most importantly respond to an ad?
• Banner ads
• 150×150 spots on relevant blogs

Plugging your show

• comments
• twitter
• guest spots
• become a subject matter expert
• actively seek out opportunities
• Know your audience
• Email Signature

Guerilla Marketing

• Does it work?
• How do you know it works?
• Working with metrics
• Where did you hear about us
• Making a flyer
• Cafe’ Press merchandise
• Marketing Stunts 
• Considering the legal implications of your actions

Community Promotion

• Ask your audience to tweet they are listening with link
• Ssocial Sharing tools e.g. StumbleUpon etc. 
• Word of mouth
• Use Caution with “walled gardens” like Facebook
• Don’t waste too much energy

Be an an active member in your own community

• Respond to comments
• Post in forums
• Respond to emails
• Play voicemails
  tweet

Services we mentioned in today’s show:

• You can get Pre-cleared sources of podsafe music for your podcast from Mevio Music Alley and Ioda Promonet.
• Cafepress for Merchandise and our 2Schooners show store.
• Moo Cards (US), Moo Cards (non-US)
• Stumble Upon (please stumble this show)

Podcasts we mentioned in today’s show:

• Entertainment Law Update with Gordon Firemark
• 2 Schooners
• Aussie Geek Podcast
• The Family Time Podcast
• Halo Dudes Podcast
• Sci-Fi Diner Podcast

Our new Podcasters’ Emporium 30 second bumper

We’d love for you to play our 30 second Podcasters’ Emporium bumper in your show.  Let us know when you do, so we can mention you and your podcast on Podcasters’ Emporium

Download (mp3)

This is a participatory show, so perhaps there are some things we haven’t mentioned, a promotional tip or technique you use on your show.  This is where we want you to contribute to the community and share your thoughts, hints and tips with us on the blog, or by email to podcastersemporium@gmail.com.

We also answer your questions on the show, so if you have something you’d like to know about then drop us a comment on the blog, or send an email to podcastersemporium@gmail.com and we will be happy to cover your question in a future show.

Here’s what we mentioned in today’s show:

Make your website or blog a vehicle to promote your show

• Blogs (e.g. WordPress, Blogger, Typepad etc.)
• Forums
• Website

Make sure your website has the following things right:

• It should be searchable by applying basic SEO techniques
  • Website and Post Titles
  • Website Keywords and Post Tags
  • Each podcast episode should have a unique name
  • Tag each of your posts with appropriate keywords
• We provide a list of WordPress plugins to help you with this
  • Auto Tags (plugin),
  • Socialize this (plugin)
  • All in one SEO pack (plugin), Consider wpSEO $24.95 but excellent
  • Akismet (plugin),
  • Google XML sitemaps (plugin),
  • Google Analytics for WordPress (plugin),
  • Redirection (plugin)
• Make sure you’ve got a podcast episode player – BigContact.com is a good source
• Make your feeds accessible and compliant
• Consider quick links to Zune and iTunes

Creating Audio Promos

• technical specs
• what you should include
  • What your about
  • Why they need to listen
  • Call to action
  • Where to find it
• Passive promos vs. an ad
  • passive promos give you a great opporunity to plug your show. e.g. audio feedback on other podcaster’s shows
• what you should avoid
• who is the audience?
• formats, production quality, length (consider multiple lengths)
• self-assessing the rating –  no point pitching an R rated on a family podcast (2schooners example – create an R rated promo AND a G rated one)
• even if you have a video podcast, consider audio, and vice versa
• Collaborate with other podcasters that have done it before
• Use your audience
• Voice talent – the good the bad and the ugly
• There are some repositories and promo exchange services

Submitting audio promos

• sharing your promos
• the etiquette of promo playing
• Format – bit rate and sample rate to suit the podcaster your giving it to
• Assumed agreements – are you aware of any?
• Linking and playing nice in your show notes

 Getting your show listed in iTunes

• iTunes tips and tricks
• things to know

 Submitting your site to podcast directories

• Is the day of the directory dead?

Services we mentioned in today’s show:

• BigContact.com - free podcast players for your website
• WordPress.com – Free WordPress hosted blog, but less extensible than the version you host yourself.
• WordPress.org -  (site where you can download your own copy of WordPress).  Blue Host support WordPress and provide free automatic installers from their control panel.

 
Free WordPress Plugins that James recommends:

• Auto Tags – this plugin uses Yahoo and tagthe.net to find relevant plugins for your blog post. Great if you forget to tag your posts.
• Socialize this – An easy to use wordpress plugin that alls you to generate Social Icons to spread your blog posts and podcast episodes.
• All In One SEO – Creates unique TITLES, DESCRIPTIONS, KEYWORDS for your blog and post pages as well as managing duplicate content.
• Akismet – this plugin comes with WordPress, but you need to get an activation code by creating a free account at WordPress.com. Check the plugin for instructions. This will save you a lot of SPAM heartache.
• Google XML Sitemaps - this plugin creates a Google sitemaps compliant XML-sitemap of your Wordpress blog. Your sitemap is updated automatically everytime you post to your blog.
• Google Anaytics for WordPress – this plugin automatically tracks and segments your outbound links from within your blog. It allows you to see where your visitors are coming from, going to and how long they stay on your site. This plugin requires a free Google Analytics account.
• Redirection – this plugin is perfect if you’re changing from another blog or website.  It allows you to put in old URLS and map them to a new location on your new website.  This is perfect to make sure that people can still reach your website from old search engine results or web links from other sites.

Paid WordPress Plugins that Dave recommends:

• wpSEO ($24.95)

Podcasts we mentioned in today’s show:

• The Rusty Microphone Podcast
• Entertainment Law Update with Gordon Firemark
• 2 Schooners
• Aussie Geek Podcast
• The Family Time Podcast

 
Be a Part of the Podcasters’ Emporium Community!

• Please send us your feedback via Email
• Follow the hosts on twittter: Follow James and Dave
• Leave a comment here on the blog
• Follow show on Twitter (news and new shows only) Send us a Direct Message when you add us to twitter and let us know that you listen to the show.
• Send us Audio Feedback by email recorded at: 128kps at 44.100 khz

Podcasters’ Emporium is produced in conjunction with the Lifestyle PodNetwork. You’ll find more great podcasts like this one at LifestylePodNetwork.com.

If you’re a podcaster who would like to join the Lifestyle PodNetwork you’ll find more information on our website.